personal life coaching - Ruben Licera Jr.

Personal Life Coaching: Learning the Value of Appreciation

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[Ruben Licera's Personal Notes: This is one of the wonderful emails I received today from a close friend and buddy Francis Canlas . I am not sure who wrote the original content of this wonderful story that shows how appreciation can go a long way in changing a persons heart. Relatively, the email thread about this was from Bheng Cortes, Territory Manager of Enecon Philippines...]

Working Hands | A Workers Hand

Working Hands from Usefilm.com

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” the youth answered “none”.

The director asked, ” Was it your father who paid for your school fees?” The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, ” Where did your mother work?” The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, ” Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”

The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, “I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, asked: ” Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered, ” I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes’

The Director asked, ” please tell me your feelings.”

The youth said,

Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be a successful me today.

Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, ” This is what I am looking for to be my manager.

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

LESSONS FROM THE STORY

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop “entitlement mentality” and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

You would have shared many stories to many and many of them would have back mailed you too…but try and forward this story to as many as possible…this may change somebody’s fate…

Personal Life Coaching: Socrates' The Triple-Filter Test

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After being influenced by a friend reading “Sophies World”, I came to know Socrates and his persona by reading tons of pages about him. This time, I opt to share this content emailed by a friend on the possible ways of handling reports/news we receive about others. Take time to digest the wisdom of this short post:

SocratesIn ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“Well, no,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“Umm, no, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about my friend, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left—the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The author of this post is unknown, but I assume one of his student – Aristotle, may had recorded this as told by the great mentor. Never mind who may have written this. Are we the acquaintance or the logical-Socrates?

Respect begets respect, and if what we are saying is not good, useful or true, why should we take some efforts of spreading it. Stop exploiting others.

Be bearer of good news… ALWAYS!

Personal Life Coaching: Attitude of Gratitude

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“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” ~Albert Schweitzer~

This story is shared online by Davy Jones based on his personal account. How can we best handle things that happens in our lives? Here is Mr. Jones secret:

attitude of gratitudeAround twenty years ago I was living in Seattle and going through hard times. I could not find satisfying work and I found this especially difficult as I had a lot of experience and a Masters degree.

To my shame I was driving a school bus to make ends meet and living with friends. I had lost my apartment. I had been through five interviews with a company and one day between bus runs they called to say I did not get the job. I went to the bus barn like a zombie of disappointment.

Later that afternoon, while doing my rounds through a quiet suburban neighborhood I had an inner wave – like a primal scream – arise from deep inside me and I thought “Why has my life become so hard?” “Give me a sign, I asked… a physical sign – not some inner voice type of thing.”

Immediately after this internal scream I pulled the bus over to drop off a little girl and as she passed she handed me an earing saying I should keep it in case somebody claimed it. The earring was stamped metal, painted black and said ‘BE HAPPY’.

At first I got angry – yeah, yeah, I thought. Then it hit me. I had been putting all of my energies into what was wrong with my life rather than what was right! I decided then and there to make a list of 50 things I was grateful for.

At first it was hard, then it got easier. One day I decided to up it to 75. That night there was a phone call for me at my friend’s house from a lady who was a manager at a large hospital. About a year earlier I had submitted a syllabus to a community college to teach a course on stress management. (Yup, you heard me. ;-) She asked me if I would do a one-day seminar for 200 hospital workers. I said yes and got the job.

My day with the hospital workers went very well. I got a standing ovation and many more days of work. To this day I KNOW that it was because I changed my attitude to gratitude.

Incidentally, the day after I found the earring the girl asked me if anyone had claimed it. I told her no and she said “I guess it was meant for you then.”

I spent the next year conducting training workshops all around the Seattle area and then decided to risk everything and go back to Scotland where I had lived previously. I closed my one man business, bought a plane ticket and got a six month visa from immigration. One month later I met my wonderful English wife and best friend of 15 years now. We live in a small beautiful cottage, two miles from a paved road in the highlands of Scotland.

‘THE ONLY ATTITUDE IS GRATITUDE’ has been my motto for years now and yes, it completely changed my life.

Personal Life Coaching: Am I Afraid to Die?

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This is another story that you may want to read. If you are afraid to die, then you must read this article from an unknown author:

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.”

Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?”

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room with his tail wagging and an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, “Did you notice my dog? He’s never been in this room before. He didn’t know what was inside… He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough.”

LESSON LEARNED:

If you know who walk beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.

What it takes? FAITH.

Personal Life Coaching: Growing Good Corn

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How important is it to you to help others? Here is another story that you must digest and understand from an unknown American writer:

There once was a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors. Read More

Personal Life Coaching: We Succeed With Others

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unity | success with othersAnother story I came across the world wide web. Unfortunately, this article hasn’t been attributed to someone. Nevertheless the story below tells a golden story to be lived by. May you be inspired by this to action:

Who Packed Your Parachute?

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!”

“How in the world did you know that?” asked Plumb.

“I packed your parachute,” the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, “I guess it worked!” Plumb assured him, “It sure did. If your chute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Plumb couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, “I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.” Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn’t know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, “Who’s packing your parachute?” Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory – he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Most often, with all the stresses we have in life, we miss greeting those who are important to us. We forget to say “Hello!”, “Thank You”, “Congratulations” and “Get Well” to people who had helped us succeed. We failed to recognize them.

No man is an island. You are prone to fail alone. Always be in gratitude to everyone who helped you to become what you are right now.

Remember, they “packed your parachute.”

Personal Life Coaching: Choosing the positive words to say

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saying positive wordsThis is another story where we can possibly learn from:

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who told him of a sick child nearby. She beseeched him to help this child.

So the sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight. One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her.

“Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?” yelled a man from the crowd.

“You know nothing of such things! You are a stupid fool!” said the sage to the man.

The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red. He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said: “If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?”

And thus, the sage healed two people that day.

The word you say is powerful. It can create or destroy an individual. It would be nice if we add value to people by using words than making them feel less of what they are.

Language does have the power to change reality. Therefore, treat your words as the mighty instruments  to make, to heal, to nurture, to cherish, to bless, and to forgive.

Personal Life Coaching: The Secret of Successful Life is to “Think, Believe, Dream and Dare”

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Walter DisneyOne of the wonders of the net is the ability to scour for real content from trash. I thank those who sent this to me.

An eight-year-old boy approached an old man in front of a wishing well, looked up into his eyes, and asked: “I understand you’re a very wise man. I’d like to know the secret of life.”

The old man looked down at the youngster and replied: “I’ve thought a lot in my lifetime, and the secret can be summed up in four words.

The first is THINK. Think about the values you wish to live your life by.

The second is BELIEVE. Believe in yourself based on the thinking you’ve done about the values you’re going to live your life by.

The third is DREAM. Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief in yourself and the values you’re going to live by.

The last is DARE. Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your belief in yourself and your values.”

And later in life the eight-year old lad grew to know that the wise man was Walter E. Disney.

LEARNINGS:

THINK. Have you thought about your values? How do you want to be remembered? Are you living your life’s purpose?

BELIEVE: Whatever it is that you want to live by, believe that you can. We are all destined to be great. If you won’t believe in yourself, who else will?

DREAM: Hold on to your dream! No matter how big it may seem to be, nothing is impossible to those who believe in it.

DARE: Act – make your dream a reality! As Anon wisely tells, “Vision without action is daydreaming and action without vision is a nightmare”

No matter how purposeful your values are, no matter how big your beliefs are and no matter how beautiful your dreams are, they’ll all be in vain if you won’t dare to act.

“Think, Believe, Dream, and Dare.” – Walter E. Disney

Butterfly in a cocoon |

Personal Life Coaching: The Story of the Butterfly

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Butterfly in a cocoon | This is a wonderful analogy about struggles and success.

But this time, the storyteller shares “The Story of the Butterfly”. The story goes:

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly like the Butterfly!

MY PRAYER:

I asked for Strength………
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom………
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity………
And God gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage………
And God gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love………
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favours………
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ……..
I received everything I needed!

Claim your 30-minute Consultation with Ruben CONTACT RUBEN HERE!